OH WHAT LESSONS WE TEACH OUR DAUGHTERS
WHEN I WOULD BABY-SIT MY SIBLINGS DURING MY 8TH AND 9TH GRADE YEARS, UPON REACHING SOME POINT OF FRUSTRATION, I WOULD TAKE THINGS OUT ON MY YOUNGEST SISTER, MARIANNE, AND HOLD HER BY THE ANKLES, THREATENING TO FLUSH HER DOWN THE TOILET.
THESE OCCURRENCES SHE REPORTED TO MOTHER, WHO SAID, "OH, MARIANNE, MARK WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT!
SO, DID SHE BELIEVE HER YOUNGEST DAUGHTER? NO.
DID SHE EVEN INVESTIGATE BY CHECKING WITH GAY AND JOHN AS TO THE TRUTH OF MARIANNE'S UNEXPECTED CLAIMS? NO.
DID SHE EVEN CONFRONT MARK WITH THE CLAIMS? NO.
RANK (FIRST BORN SON) AND GENDER HAVE THEIR PRIVILEGES.- THE PRESUMPTION OF COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE GUILTY
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MY EX-WIFE IS AS LOVELY A LADY AS I HAVE EVER KNOWN. SHE WORKED AS A FASHION MODEL, FOR A WHILE.
DURING THAT TIME OF EMPLOYMENT AS A FASHION MODEL, HER FATHER WOULD TELL HIS FRIENDS, IN HIS DAUGHTER'S PRESENCE, THAT SHE WAS A SECRETARY. KIND OF REVEALS A THING OR TWO ABOUT A THING OR TWO.
SO, WE WON'T LISTEN TO THEM,WE WON'T BE PROUD OF THEM,WE TRY TO KEEP THEM DOWN,OUGHT WE TO BE ENTIRELY SURPRISEDWHEN SOME OF THEM OUT THEMSELVES AS LESBIANS?SHOULD WE BE SHOCKED WHEN THEY ATTEMPT (REPEATEDLY) SUICIDE?
OR ENGAGE IN PROMISCUOUS BEHAVIOR?
AND INGEST UNCANNY AMOUNTS OF NARCOTICS?
OR ARE FOREVER RUNNNING AWAY FROM SCHOOL?
I THINK NOT, FOR THE MESSAGES HAVE CLEARLY BEEN SENT:
YOU ARE NOT WORTHY
I WON'T LISTEN TO YOU ANYWAY (THE SUICIDE ATTEMPTS NOTWITHSTANDING)
I WON'T BE PROUD OF YOUR BEAUTY
I WILL SLOT YOU INTO A LOW-PAYING, LOW-INFLUENCE, SUBSERVIENT ROLE,
IN YOUR CORPORATE LIFE, AS WELL AS IN YOUR MARRIED LIFE
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NO, WE OUGHT NOT BE SURPRISED AT ANY OF THIS.
IT IS ALL ENTIRELY PREDICTABLE.
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ANOTHER TALE.
MY FATHER (ONCE UPON A TIME, A SCRATCH GOLFER, AND A TEACHING PROFESSIONAL) TOOK MY SISTER TO THE GOLF COURSE, A FIRST FOR HER.
DAD TELLS THE STORY:
FIRST HOLE, SHE HITS IT 200 YARDS, STRAIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE.
NEXT SHOT, 185 YARDS, TO THE FRONT OF THE GREEN.
THEN SHE CHIPPED FOR A WHILE.
ON THE NEXT HOLE, AFTER WE TEED OFF, I CAME TO HER DRIVE (ANOTHER 200 JOB), BUT SHE WAS NOT THERE. SHE HAD DECIDED TO WATCH THE BUTTERFLIES IN THE FLOWERS OF THE GARDEN OF THE HOUSE JUST OFF THE SECOND TEE.
AND THAT WAS THE LAST TIME SHE EVER PLAYED GOLF.
MY SISTER TELLS THE STORY:
SO I START TO TRY AND CHIP IT, BUT I'M JUST HORRIBLE. AND I START DOUBLING OVER IN LAUGHTER, WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE STUPID FUCKER STARTS YELPING AT ME IN THAT SOPRANO VOICE, YOU KNOW THE ONE, WHEN HE IS SO ENRAGED THAT HE REALLY WANTS TO STRANGLE YOU, TO GET YOU BACK INTO LINE, AND HE YELLS, "NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS OF TEACHING HAVE I HAD A WORSE, MORE UNDISCIPLINED CHILDISH STUDENT THAN YOU. STOP YOUR LAUGHING, AND BE SERIOUS. GOLF IS A GAME FOR SERIOUS PEOPLE.
WELL, YEAH, SO WE TEE OF (SILENTLY ON TWO), BUT, FUCK HIM, I'M NOT PLAYING THIS STUPID GAME EVER AGAIN.
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AND YOU THINK HE REALLY CARES FOR THE PERSONAL SAFETY OF HIS FAMILY?
THINK AGAIN.
HERE'S MY STORY.
IT'S FALL, 1964, AND WE ARE HEADING NORTHWEST OUT ROUTE 14 TO CARY COUNTRY CLUB, WHEN SOME KIDS IN A FANCY SPORTS CAR PASS US FAST AND FLIP DAD THE BIRD. HE LOSES IT, AND RAMS HIS FOOT ON THE PEDAL, THE SPEEDOMETER IS BURIED AT 110.
FOR ME, IT WAS JUST ANOTHER EXCITING DAY EN ROUTE TO THE GOLF COURSE. HELL, HE'S MY DAD, HE'S SUPERMAN, HE'S GOD, HE CAN DO NO WRONG. I WOULD MAINTAIN THESE ATTITUDES UNTIL I CAME BACK HOME, SEEKING SHELTER FROM MY TANTRUM, IN 1983.
THE PSYCHIC ABUSE, THAT MY SIBLINGS SAW SO MANIFESTLYL EVIDENCED, AND, REST ASSURED, THESE WERE NOT THE USUAL MODUS OPERANDI - THAT IS WHY THEY STUCK OUT ALL THE MORE; THESE WERE THE RAGINGS OF A MAN OUT OF SORTS WITH HIS NATURE; A MAN IN NEED OF SPIRITUAL HEALING; A MAN IN NEED OF INSIGHT; A MAN WITH TOO LITTLE TO DO, AND TOO MUCH IMPOTENT RAGE TO BE SUPPRESSED.
AND YET, I REMAIN THE FOCUS OF THE PATHETIC THERAPISTS THEY HAVE BEEN STEERED TO, TO TRY AND GET ME TO ACCEPT THE YOKE OF THEIR AUTHORITY, THE FALSE SHRILLNESS OF THEIR ALLEGED LOVE, AND THE AMAZING IDIOCY OF THEIR THINKING.
HOW IN THE HELL DID I EVER SPRING FROM THE LOINS OF THESE CREATURES? HOW DID ANY OF US?
GOD HELP ME, DEAR LORD JESUS, IF I CAN'T BE THE FATHER MY SON NEEDS ME TO BE, THEN LET ME BE ABSENT RATHER THAN TO SHOW THIS CALLOUS INDIFFERENCE.
IN YOUR NAME, OH LORD, I PRAY.
AMEN.
