Friday, November 9, 2012

When the director of the CIA can't even keep an extramarital affair a secret, one would certainly HOPE that he would resign ... the canonization of David Petraeus

CIA chief Petraeus resigns over affair

.By Olivier Knox, Yahoo! News

White House Correspondent

CIA Director David Petraeus resigned his post on Friday, confessing to having shown "extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair." (Nah, not really, he only resigned because he got caught) The former Army general rocketed to global prominence as the man in charge of the "surge" in Iraq and later the commander of American forces in Afghanistan (global prominence? the man LOST track of 195,000 firearms in Iraq, and Afghanistan has been a cluster fuck ever since Barry-O got empowered to fight the "real war on terror" in the Af-Pak Theatre).

President Barack Obama said Petraeus had led the Central Intelligence Agency "with characteristic intellectual rigor, dedication and patriotism (there is no intellectual rigor in the CIA, there is little if any patriotism - just a bunch of knee-jerk operatives with an unlimited budget to do all kinds of shit that continuously darkens world opinion of American "power") ."

"I am completely confident that the CIA will continue to thrive and carry out its essential mission, and I have the utmost confidence in Acting Director Michael Morell and the men and women of the CIA who work every day to keep our nation safe (the CIA - these were the bozos whose finest hour came in their assistance of that Taliban in handing the Russians a humiliating defeat in Afghanistan, that led, ultimately, to the 9-11 attacks on New York City, by a non-state entity, the same CIA that never heard of the Ayahtollah Khomeini until it was, how shall we say this, a tad late - although ... they DID help six state department employees who escaped from the US embassy in Tehran to escape Iran, under the guise of filming a movie - ARGO - which makes for a pretty exciting action flick) ," the president said in a written statement.

"Going forward, my thoughts and prayers are with Dave and Holly Petraeus, who has done so much to help military families through her own work. I wish them the very best at this difficult time," Obama continued.

Director of National Intelligence James Clapper issued a statement that did not specify a reason for Petraeus' departure but praised his colleague extensively.

"From his long, illustrious Army career to his leadership at the helm of CIA, Dave has redefined what it means to serve and sacrifice for one's country (ye gods, lose two wars, and direct a bunch of CIA agents, our 007's who have to PAY for Pussy and do so on their credit cards, while kidnapping people on foreign soil ... oh, what a legacy!) ," said Clapper.

Petraeus went to work as CIA chief in September 2011 after heading up the war in Afghanistan. He had drawn fire in the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attack on the American compound in Benghazi, Libya. His departure comes barely a week before he was scheduled to testify about the assault in closed-door sessions with the intelligence committees of the Senate and House of Representatives. Morell was expected to take his place, congressional aides said.

Petraeus' resignation letter, quoted by several news outlets, centered on his personal behavior.

"Yesterday afternoon, I went to the White House and asked the President to be allowed, for personal reasons, to resign from my position as D/CIA. After being married for over 37 years, I showed extremely poor judgment by engaging in an extramarital affair. Such behavior is unacceptable (the guy was such a bozo, he couldn't figure out a way to not get caught - really, not very impressive, David), both as a husband and as the leader of an organization such as ours," he said. "This afternoon, the President graciously accepted my resignation."

Petraeus, 60, has been described as the father of the military's counterinsurgency doctrine (god help us all). The charismatic officer had been cited as a possible future presidential or vice presidential prospect (probably the front runner already for 2016).

His wife, Holly, has worked inside the Obama administration, serving at the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (this does not make me, as a consumer, feel any safer).

Arizona Sen. John McCain, the ranking Republican on the Senate Armed Services Committee and one of Petraeus' most outspoken admirers (it's a man-crush these warriors have for each other), said the general "will stand in the ranks of America's greatest military heroes (well, this is a statement only a man who became a war hero by virtue of having been a Prisoner of War who never tried to escape could make, and probably believe every word of it)."

"His inspirational leadership and his genius were directly responsible—after years of failure—for the success of the surge in Iraq," McCain said in a statement (you mean, the money we paid our enemies to quit shooting our troops was an example of inspirational leadership and genius?). "Our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family."

In a statement, Senate Intelligence Committee Chairwoman Dianne Feinstein, a Democrat, said, "I very much regret the resignation of David Petraeus. This is an enormous loss for our nation's intelligence community and for our country (no, there are any number of military hacks that could do exactly as badly as Petraeus has done).

"I wish President Obama had not accepted this resignation, but I understand and respect the decision," Feinstein added (maybe Dianne is looking for a cabinet position in the Patraeus administration?  keep tuned).