The GREAT IMPOSTER !! ... Incroyable! Dowd hammers own self with the swift kick in the ass of recognition. Posing as a journalist, the ever-fuckable but never lovable MoDo is gonna put some hurt on one of the unkool kids. I can just TASTE those juicy pink lips!
The Great Game Imposter
By MAUREEN DOWD
WASHINGTON
And we wonder why we haven’t found Osama bin Laden.Um, no, Mo. We haven't found bin Laden because we don't wanna find bin Laden. Tres simple!
Though we’re pouring billions into intelligence in Afghanistan, we can’t even tell the difference between a no-name faker and a senior member of the Taliban. (when you have to rely on the natives to do your intel, you better hope the natives have no agenda, no reason to give you wrong, misleading, or fake intel; in the Bananastans, this is simply NOT the case) The tragedy of Afghanistan has descended into farce. Afghan tragedy? For whom is Afganbanastan a tragedy? The dead and displaced Afghani's for sure, the dead and wounded NATO troops for sure. Other than that, "Afghanistan [as in "the right war on the Af-Pak front"] is going exactly as hoped for by the war mongers that be. In the sort of scene that would have entertained millions if Billy Wilder had made a movie of Kipling’s “Kim,” it turns out that Afghan and NATO leaders have been negotiating for months with an imposter pretending to be a top Taliban commander — even as Gen. David Petraeus was assuring reporters that there were promising overtures to President Hamid Karzai from the Taliban about ending the war. Goes towards the credibility of Petraeus! Sarah Palin for Prez in 2012!!
Those familiar with the greatest Afghan con yet say that the British had spent a year developing the fake Taliban leader as a source and, despite a heated debate and C.I.A. skepticism, General Petraeus was buying into it. The West was putting planes and assets at the poseur’s disposal, and paying him a sum in the low six figures.Sigh. Ought there to be a lesson here?
“It’s funny but not funny because the consequences are so staggering,” said a Western diplomat. “Put it this way: It was not well handled.”
We’ve heard a lot about the shadow world of Afghanistan, but this is ridiculous. We’re bargaining with the shadow of a shadow. [I saw a shadow touch a shadow's hand, on Bleeker Street] Even President Karzai may have been fooled. The man taking us for a ride may have been taken for a ride.
Indeed, sometimes it feels as if the entire region is taking us for a ride. Right. We have jumped the shark. Everybody is lining up for Western cash, treating America, the British and NATO like suckers. As slurp up the cum from the floor and pay them billions to make sloppy cum some more. President Karzai and his brother toy with us for their immense personal profit, even as they corrupt their own elections. Karzai undermines the American military plan by going up against General Petraeus on night raids. And the Taliban and the Pakistan intelligence service are playing us as well.
America is stomping around the moonscape of Afghanistan trying to do the right thing, "America" would no more do the right thing in Afghanistan than let women have the right to vote. but we can’t because we’re cluelessabout the culture to the point where we can be faked out by an imposter masquerading as Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour, a high-level Taliban commander.Wrong you bushy unshaven cunt, you. We're just friggin clueless.
As Dexter Filkins and Carlotta Gall revealed in The Times on Tuesday, the Afghan faker attended three meetings with NATO and Afghan officials, traveling across the border from Pakistan, where Taliban leaders are hiding with the help of the ISI, the Pakistani intelligence service (even though we give Pakistan billions of dollars in aid every year).
The Times’s article said that the phony was even ushered into a meeting with Karzai at the presidential palace in Kabul. Something the crafty Karzai denied.
He may have been dispatched as an agent by the Taliban — whose leaders still deny there are any peace talks — or the double-dealing Pakistani intelligence service. “The Taliban are cleverer than the Americans and our own intelligence service,” a senior Afghan official told The Times. “They are playing games.”Was the non-sourced senior Afghan official sad, glad, delighted, excited or frightened by this game-playing prospect?
Bizarrely, the Afghans let the fake Mansour retreat over the border. In a further huge embarrassment for the Western intelligence community, he was not held to determine whether he was an enemy agent. Nor is this the only confusion about our war. We also can’t seem to get the calendar straight. First, we were leaving in 2011. Then maybe we weren’t. Then we weren’t leaving until 2014. Then maybe we aren’t.Oh red-bushy skank. We aren't leaving until the walls of the embassy come a'tumblin' down. Which might well occur before the 2016 elections.
In trying to please all his many wartime constituencies, President Obama has provided a confusing plethora of plans and semiplans for withdrawal. No sooner had the NATO ministers in Lisbon agreed that we were staying till 2014 than Obama declared that “early 2011 will mark the beginning of a transition to Afghan responsibility.”Po, Po, pitiable me, po, po, pitiful me / all these boys won't let me be, Lord have mercy on me. Mercy on me!
On the duration of our commitment to the war in Afghanistan, weseem to be[are] faking ourselves out.Albeit willfully so.
Obama wants to get out; Petraeus wants flexibility. “The real protagonists are the president and the general,” one Obama adviser noted dryly.Well, then POTUS - suck it up and fire the cork screw!
It should have been a sign that the Russians, who are a lot more vicious than us umm .. again, just how many atomic bombs did da Ruskies drop on the slanty-eyes? and have a much closer cultural attachment to the Graveyard of Empires, got whipped after 9 years and 50 days — which we’re now exceeding.
Just as with Saddam and W.M.D., or groping and the T.S.A., we get no satisfaction for the $80 billion a year we spend on intelligence. Since 96% of our intel is available via open sources, it seems we are spending a tad too much fer it! Or we get fake information like Curveball that leads us into spending trillions more on a trumped-up war. Last year, seven top C.I.A. officials were fooled by a Jordanian double-agent who got onto an American base in Khost and blew all of them up. Our agents in the “wilderness of mirrors” may not be up to le Carré, but can’t they learn to Google, or at least watch “The Ipcress File”?
Who knows? Maybe we’ve been dealing with bin Laden all along. Maybe he’s been coming and going under a different moniker. As far as our intelligence experts are concerned, a turban and beard are just a turban and beard.Best conclusion ya evah reached, Mo, my bushy pussy dear ... now come on ovah and stick my cock in your mouf.
