Worst Board Game Ever
Hillary and Qaddafi
by KATHLEEN PEINE
Another Halloween season is upon us, with the scary bloodless dead guy masks, the wild mobs clamoring for goodies, and well heck, that’s just Libya.
I have to say that I’m against the death penalty on principle except when I’m not, but I only consider a select few crimes worthy of that ultimate act. I’ve thought at length about capital worthy offenses….thing like those referencing the song Kumbaya to smear anyone who doesn’t want to chew on live babies, or people from urban areas who pepper their talk or writing with y’alls. One other fairly egregious offence that I hadn’t dreamt up but probably qualifies, would be having a crush on Condoleeza Rice. A rare affliction that I don’t imagine has tripped up too many men over the years.
But I don’t think Gaddafi was executed for a good reason like that.
I’m no expert, but I think being a nonprofit for the shakedown guys with the IMF/World Bank might be bad for longevity, maybe even worse than smoking (meth). I think trying to rally African countries away from debt based spiderwebs might also bring you closer to your waltz with eternity.
Certainly being a colorful despot or a guy with sketchy fashion sense doesn’t preclude you from hugs and photo ops with the sane. Amazing that so many world leaders made it out alive from those handshakes and hugs with the clinically (diagnosed by the media) Batshit Disorder Guy. He’s been in and out of crazy for decades now. He’s fat/ he’s thin/ he’s fat/ he’s thin.
It’s probably not that safe to have nationalized resources, either. I’m telling you, if we don’t sell that Grand Canyon to Megakoch this could happen to all of us.
But anyway, he’s so crazy, they tell us, he even had a wig! It’s not enough to kill you, parade your almost dead body around, and then parade your really dead body around. You need to add “and he was wearing a wig!” They just couldn’t afford him the dignity of being killed on youtube out of a drainage pipe-they had to add that. Next we will hear that he had porno photos of bin Laden in his possession and tattoos of Celine Dion on his ass.
Hillary: “In the library, with a candlestick, by Colonel Mustard…..no, no….wait…. in a drainage pipe, by a mouth foaming mob, in the desert.”
Since it’s all just a funny game, new edition Parker Brothers “Hubris”
I read that the crowd celebrated after his killing by beheading some camels. I didn’t just say that to be a jerk, you know…. the old stand-by insult for people in that region. Just name drop camel and feel superior. You know what I’m talking about. It’s not that. I guess they really did slaughter camels to celebrate. How silly of them to be such clichés.
I can see the history books of the future….the enlightened era of excellence was ushered in by the beheading of camels and the world was set right. Hillary smiled. Will the IMF guy that gets put in power have to pretend to enjoy camel slaughter to fit in like you have to ”just adore” golf when you get promoted over here? Because Hillary really does enjoy the camel slaughter, she wouldn’t have to fake it.
I remember many years ago when Hillary was the demon toast for many up and coming boomers. An older relative of mine even named his dog after her because she was, of course, a cloying beast who was going to give us all healthcare, and by doing so might decrease the pay of said relative. I think naming your dog after her was thought up in the Rush Rooms of the 90s (not to be confused with the Bath Houses of the 90s………well on that I’m not sure, only Dominican boys can be certain with Rush Limbaugh involved). But the bile for Hillary just seems to be gone- which is just nutty. Now is the time to name your dogs after her (but just bad ones). She turned into a true beast, or always was one, I don’t know. I’m just suggesting….if you have a bad dog to name.
Strange times, these– and make sure you enjoy that board game, Hillary. It’s great fun until you lose.
Kathleen Peine writes out of the Central Time Zone in America so please only email during those hours so as not to wake her. She can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org